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    Synopsis:

    Dialog for Harvard, a comedian that dares you to beat him in a 'comedy battle'. Comedian is standing on a stage when player clicks on him. Turns to player to speak to him, then turns back to face the crowd to perform.

    How to trigger:

    Click on S_LOW_Elfsong_HarvardWilloughby


  • 13.
    Harvard Willoughby
    : What do you think? Want to pit your wits in the Laff Riot? devnoteLOW_Elfsong_Harvard_HasMet, LOW_Elfsong_State_ComedyTournament_Participate = False
    • 21. Player: I'll bite: what's this Laff Riot?
      • 31.
        Harvard Willoughby
        : It's all about the boffo yocks. We see who can tell the funniest stories, and the winner gets the prize! devnote
        • 30. Player: All right, you're on. It's got to be better than killing rats.
          • 39. [Jump] Jump to Node 58 (1)
        • 17. Player: Leave.
          End
    • 49. Player: Suits me - I'm pretty good at riots. I'm in.
      • Link to Node 58
    • 15. Player: I'm a bard, Willoughby. Prepare to get served. BARD
      • 58.
        Harvard Willoughby
        : Grrrreat! I'll go first to show you how it's done, and then you see if you can top me. devnote
        • 26.
          Harvard Willoughby
          : Hel-LO, Baldurians! You know, I wouldn't be here tonight, except my wife ran off with a cambion. That's right, I got fiend-zoned.devnote
          • 5.
            Harvard Willoughby
            : We used to have a drow comedian. I had to ask her to stop casting Tasha's Hideous Laughter on the audience. devnote
            • 10.
              Harvard Willoughby
              : Then I asked her how many drow it takes to light a torch, and she said, 'None, we have darkvision.'devnote
              • 36.
                Harvard Willoughby
                : So we killed her. devnote
                • 11.
                  Narrator
                  : *The Elfsong patrons think that one's funny. There may be hope for you yet.*
                  • 29.
                    Harvard Willoughby
                    : Your turn, Smart Stuff. Knock 'em dead! ...But not literally, got me?devnote
                    • 50. Player: Willoughby the comedian, folks! Were his jokes good, or did he just smell funny?LOW_Elfsong_Event_ComedyTournament_Approval['Lae'zel 1', 'Astarion -1', 'Gale 1', 'Shadowheart -1', 'Wyll 1', 'Karlach 1', 'Jaheira -1', 'Minthara 1', 'Minsc 1', 'Halsin 1']
                      • 6.
                        Harvard Willoughby
                        : Argh! Got me with an ancient jest that's older than I am. devnote
                        • Link to Node 24
                    • 43. Player: Say, what's the difference between a dwarf and a bulette? You can't toss the bulette!['Astarion -1', 'Gale -1', 'Lae'zel -1', 'Wyll -1', 'Shadowheart -1', 'Karlach -1', 'Jaheira -1', 'Minthara -1', 'Minsc -1', 'Halsin -1']
                      • 3.
                        Harvard Willoughby
                        : Adequate, but no better. devnote
                        • 24.
                          Harvard Willoughby
                          : [TagAnswer]
                          • 1. Player: You know why I hate vampires? They just suck. LOW_Elfsong_Event_ComedyTournament_Disapproval['Astarion -2', 'Lae'zel 1', 'Gale 1', 'Shadowheart 1', 'Wyll 1', 'Karlach 1', 'Jaheira 1', 'Minthara 1', 'Minsc 1', 'Halsin 1']
                            • 42.
                              Harvard Willoughby
                              : I first heard that one when I was in short pants on the school playground. devnote
                              • Link to Node 0
                          • 40. Player: I tried sleeping with a dragonborn the other night, but it didn't work out - he had a reptile dysfunction. LOW_Elfsong_Event_ComedyTournament_Approval['Astarion 1', 'Lae'zel 1', 'Gale 1', 'Shadowheart 1', 'Wyll 1', 'Karlach 2', 'Jaheira 1', 'Minthara 1', 'Minsc 1', 'Halsin 1']
                            • 22.
                              Harvard Willoughby
                              : Win or lose, I'm stealing that one. devnote
                              • Link to Node 0
                          • 44. Player: I asked a zombie reanimator out on a date, but she said she wasn't interested in nec-romance.['Astarion 1', 'Gale 1', 'Shadowheart 1', 'Wyll 1', 'Karlach 1', 'Lae'zel -1', 'Jaheira -1', 'Minsc 1', 'Halsin 1', 'Minthara -1']
                            • 57.
                              Harvard Willoughby
                              : Didn't I tell this joke already? devnote
                              • Link to Node 0
                          • 14. Player: What does you call a room full of people who don't applaud? Dead.Roll (Charisma, Intimidation) vs 20 (0)['Lae'zel 1', 'Astarion 1', 'Gale 1', 'Shadowheart 1', 'Wyll 1', 'Karlach 1', 'Jaheira 1', 'Minthara 1', 'Minsc 1', 'Halsin 1']
                            • 60. [RollResult] True
                              • 2.
                                Harvard Willoughby
                                : Whoa, hang on - this should be against the rules.devnoteLOW_Elfsong_Event_ComedyTournament_Approval
                                • 0.
                                  Harvard Willoughby
                                  : [TagAnswer]
                                  • 4. Player: The Dead Three, am I right? What losers. You know why Bane worshippers will never conquer the world? They don't have the Bhaals!devnote['Lae'zel -1', 'Astarion 1', 'Gale -1', 'Wyll -1', 'Shadowheart -1', 'Karlach 1', 'Jaheira -1', 'Minthara 1', 'Minsc 1', 'Halsin 1']
                                    • 7.
                                      Harvard Willoughby
                                      : Don't joke about religion, Smart Stuff. devnote
                                      • 54.
                                        Harvard Willoughby
                                        : [TagAnswer] LOW_Elfsong_State_ComedyTournament_Participate
                                        • 34.
                                          Harvard Willoughby
                                          : [TagAnswer] devnote
                                          • 8.
                                            Narrator
                                            : *Cheers, whistles, and applause. You're almost shocked.*devnoteLOW_Elfsong_State_WinComedyTournament
                                            • 12.
                                              Harvard Willoughby
                                              : Yeah, yeah, you're hilarious. Now get out of here before I lose my job. devnote
                                              End
                                          • 9.
                                            Narrator
                                            : *A single person applauds from the back of the room - probably out of pity.*devnoteLOW_Elfsong_State_WinComedyTournament = FalseLOW_Elfsong_State_LoseComedyTournament
                                            • 37.
                                              Harvard Willoughby
                                              : Sorry, Smart Stuff. No joy for you, I'm afraid, but that sounds like job security for me. devnote
                                              End
                                  • 18. Player: A mind flayer's duergar slave lost his nose, so I asked the illithid, 'How does he smell?' and it said, 'I have eaten its brain.' LOW_Elfsong_Event_ComedyTournament_Disapproval['Lae'zel -1', 'Astarion -1', 'Gale -1', 'Wyll -1', 'Shadowheart -1', 'Karlach -1', 'Jaheira -1', 'Minthara -1', 'Minsc 1', 'Halsin -1']
                                    • 28.
                                      Harvard Willoughby
                                      : Whoa, what a stinker. devnote
                                      • Link to Node 54
                                  • 19. Player: Our cleric tried to cast Healing Word on a ham, but it was already cured. LOW_Elfsong_Event_ComedyTournament_Approval['Astarion 1', 'Lae'zel 1', 'Gale 1', 'Shadowheart 1', 'Wyll 1', 'Karlach 1', 'Jaheira 1', 'Minthara 1', 'Minsc 1', 'Halsin 1']
                                    • 47.
                                      Harvard Willoughby
                                      : Pig jokes are never wrong. Well done. devnote
                                      • Link to Node 54
                                  • 59. Player: CLAP, OR I'LL RIP OUT YOUR SPINES.Roll (Charisma, Intimidation) vs 25 (0)['Lae'zel 1', 'Astarion 1', 'Gale 1', 'Shadowheart 1', 'Wyll 1', 'Karlach 1', 'Jaheira 1', 'Minthara 1', 'Minsc 1', 'Halsin 1']
                                    • 46. [RollResult] True
                                      • 53.
                                        Harvard Willoughby
                                        : Are you kidding? Come on.devnoteLOW_Elfsong_Event_ComedyTournament_Approval
                                        • Link to Node 54
                                    • 27. [RollResult] False
                                      • 48. [Jump] Jump to Node 38 (1)
                            • 45. [RollResult] False
                              • 51. [Jump] Jump to Node 38 (1)
                    • 56. Player: Hey! I asked my wizard to cast Shatter. He said, 'Shatter? I hardly know 'er!'LOW_Elfsong_Event_ComedyTournament_Disapproval['Astarion 1', 'Lae'zel -1', 'Gale 1', 'Shadowheart 1', 'Wyll 1', 'Karlach 1', 'Jaheira -1', 'Minthara 1', 'Minsc 1', 'Halsin 1']
                      • 61.
                        Harvard Willoughby
                        : If that's the best you've got, Smart Stuff, you should quit before the crowd gets angry. devnote
                        • Link to Node 24
                    • 33. Player: Laugh. Now.BARBARIANRoll (Charisma, Intimidation) vs 15 (0)['Lae'zel 1', 'Astarion 1', 'Gale 1', 'Shadowheart 1', 'Wyll 1', 'Karlach 1', 'Jaheira 1', 'Minthara 1', 'Minsc 1', 'Halsin 1']
                      • 41. [RollResult] True
                        • 52.
                          Harvard Willoughby
                          : An interesting technique, but all right.devnoteLOW_Elfsong_Event_ComedyTournament_Approval
                          • Link to Node 24
                      • 20. [RollResult] False
                        • 38.
                          Narrator
                          : *A single person applauds frantically from the back.*
                          • 16.
                            Harvard Willoughby
                            : Sorry, Smart Stuff - threats ain't comedy, no matter how brawny you are. But thanks for the job security.devnoteLOW_Elfsong_State_LoseComedyTournament
                            End
    • 25. Player: Leave.
      End
  • 23.
    Harvard Willoughby
    : Second best? Me? Maybe it's time for this old boy to find a new grift.LOW_Elfsong_State_WinComedyTournament, LOW_Elfsong_State_ComedyTournament_Participate
    End
  • 32.
    Harvard Willoughby
    : Hey, Smart Stuff, I'm Willoughby the comedian, and we got a little contest here called the Laff Riot. You want to play along?LOW_Elfsong_Harvard_HasMet = False, LOW_Elfsong_State_ComedyTournament_Participate = FalseLOW_Elfsong_Harvard_HasMet
    • 55. [Jump] Jump to Node 13 (2)
  • 35.
    Harvard Willoughby
    : Another triumph! Yes indeedy, I'm still the comedy king!LOW_Elfsong_State_WinComedyTournament = False, LOW_Elfsong_State_ComedyTournament_Participate
    End